60F (16C): Arizonans shiver uncontrollably; Chicagoans are still sunbathing.
50F (10C): Californians try to turn on the heat; Chicagoans plant gardens.
40F (4C): Italian sport cars won't start; Chicagoans drive with the windows down.
32F (0C): Distilled water freezed; Lake Michigan water gets thicker.
20F (-7C): Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves and wool hats; Chicagoans thown on a light jacket.
15F (-9C): Chicagoan have the last cookout before it gets cold.
0F (-18C): All the people in Phoenix die; Chicagoans close the windows.
-10F (-23C): Californians fly away to Mexico. The Girl Scots in Chicago are selling cookies door to door.
-25F (-32C): Hollywood disintegrates. Chicagoans get out their winter coats.
-40F (-40C): Washington, DC runs out of hot air. Chicagoan let the dogs sleep indoors.
-100F (-73C): Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. Chicagoans get frustrated because they can't start "da car".
-460F (-273C): All atomic motion stops (absolute zero on the Kelvin scale). Chicagoans start saying, "Cold enuff for ya?"
-500F: Hell freezes over. The Chicago Cubs win the World Series